The Mushroom Saved My Life

Transcript

Jason Najum 00:02 Edward Crowe, welcome to the Human Journeys Podcast.

Edward Crowe 00:05 Jason, thank you for having me, brother. I'm I'm really thankful to be here.

Jason Najum 00:09 Yeah, no. Thank you. Thank you for coming. And yeah, we've worked with you before. We did a human journeys article about about your story. So what let's jump right into it. Your human journey. How would you summarize how would you summarize it?

Edward Crowe 00:23 Absolutely. Man, it's been extravagant, man. It's like you know, I'm very thankful. It's been it's been a wild ride. You know, I've I've started as a child as a magician. From a magician, I moved into being a graffiti artist and a muralist. I had a time where I was, you know, selling weed, and then that turned into a mushroom situation where there was a drought on the weed and the the weed man only had mushrooms, and I bought them solely to flip and get stoned and and make a profit. I had no idea, no no clue of the sacrament or, you know, the history involved in this in this mushroom at the time. And then I ended up getting stuck with them. And that's how, you know, I found this love for this high dose.

Jason Najum 01:09 Yeah, I I I I heard that about your story where you came across psychedelics not knowing it would open up this path for you. You you were you were looking at it, get it, flip it, move on, and you know, the universe gave you another path with with mushrooms. Like you st you stumbled upon it.

Edward Crowe 01:28 One hundred percent. And and Dennis put it, Dennis Walker, who we both know, put it in a really cool way. He said in an article something about I had to survive psychedelics long enough to understand what they had to teach me. And I thought that was a very interesting way to put it and really well said. But yeah, that's kind of my journey with these psychedelics is I had to survive them to understand that they were what were gonna drive me in the right direction as I evolved.

Jason Najum 01:45 Yeah.

Jason Najum 01:53 Right. So w at that moment in your life, like where were you? like w how would you describe that stage in your life? I mean, you were you were

Edward Crowe 02:01 I was definitely, you know, I was a I was hard headed, you know, I was I was in and out of trouble. I thought I had it figured out. You know, I was in a place in my life where I'm glad that I found these mushrooms. And and they've just kind of I feel like they've what do you call it, kind of groomed me. The mushrooms become my mentor. You know what I mean? It's taken a long time to accept that, you know, as a as a as a truth. But that's what it's become. I go to the mushroom for advice. Sometimes I'm happy when I go to the mushroom for the advice. Sometimes I'm sick or, you know, stressed or whatever the case may be. But I always enter the situation with respect for the mushroom. You know what I mean? And leave with a lot of gratitude for the lessons and perspectives that have been bestowed upon me in the journey.

Jason Najum 02:48 Yeah, well well I could already see the difference. I mean, you start off by saying you were hard headed and now I see a lot of humility in you.

Edward Crowe 02:55 Absolutely. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No, I'm I'm very, very much changed, you know, and my my my approach into these ceremonies with these mushrooms is very is very humble and and it's kind of revolves around the idea of rebirth, you know, metaphorical, like a rebirth of your perspectives, your ideas and approaching the world in a new way that is better for you and better for the rest of humanity as a whole.

Jason Najum 03:22 Hmm. Yeah. I mean those are those are one those are beautiful words, but like I'm it took you a while to get to get there to be able to to say those with with gratitude. I mean so yeah, so let's let's go back to hard headed Eddie. Like what what was where were you back then? I mean I I I think I've heard you say change your life, maybe even saved your life. Like what what were the characteristics

Edward Crowe 03:46 One hundred percent.

Jason Najum 03:51 that you know, that you left behind. Like what kind of person were you? And

Edward Crowe 03:58 I was I feel I was in the dark, you know what I mean? I feel that I was in the dark. I don't know that I had any issues. I think I thought I had it figured out and I was able to move past that and understand new perspectives and see myself from outside of myself. I've seen pictures of me from I don't know, twenty sixteen, around that era, you know, and and I was just a whole different person, man, a a different look in my eye, you know what I mean? I I wouldn't smile in photos. I'm not sure why. I I was paralyzed when I was young. So there was a face thing, you know, a a subconscious face thing because my face was paralyzed. So that was part of it. But it was also, you know, the whole tough guy thing. We grew up in Antioch. So Antioch is like a area town. It was a very culturally diverse part of town, you know, and it was a it was a cultural melting pot in in a high crime area. You know what I mean? But yeah, I was I was just, you know, thought I had it figured out. I would say I was in the dark. And these things changed me, man. They opened my mind up and allowed me to kind of complete the hero's journey and and find my child again. You know what I mean? The inner child.

Jason Najum 05:04 Mm, mm hmm. Yeah. See, yeah, I wonder what would set like your relationships have changed? I mean, I'm guessing everything has changed. It's your like what would is is your ego that changed, you would think, the most from it? Like what would be how would you Yeah.

Edward Crowe 05:26 I think my perspective, I would say like my perspective and my understanding of different people. And you know, when you push your mind, I like to say like when you pop the hood on someone's psyche, you know, when you push your mind to that limit, when you push your mind to the point of you need a lot of courage to step into those places, you know what I mean? And then when you step into those places, as we all know, sometimes you have to figure out how to move past a loop. And I feel like that's like mental exercise, spiritual exercise. psychological exercise and getting to a better place in your own mind. You know what I mean? And figuring out it's just really about perspective for me. You know what I mean? New perspectives. And and every time I go in seeing from a another additional perspective. And when I can see from all these different perspectives, it allows me to change and accommodate the things that maybe I'm not considering because my mind doesn't work the same as someone I may be in a relationship with, whether it's business, you know, romantic, whatever the situation may be. You know, I can't see myself or my actions from their perspective. But when I go into that place outside of time, and so I'm almost like you step into eternity. You know, that time in that circle in that ceremony feels like it's outside of regular time. You know what I mean? And it allows me to consider all variables from all perspectives as though I'm not myself. And when I come out of the house, I feel renewed and and I have an appreciation of gratitude for everything that I love and everything that you know, is around me that's good.

Jason Najum 06:56 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, psychedelics, like we know, chemically help you, you know, quiets the default mode network. They say that's where the ego may live. So, you know, you're you feel like you're able to kind of step away from you know, whatever loops of thinking that you know, whatever boxed in views that you may have, and you're able to see. Whatever it is your intention is, whatever it is that the relationship you want to think about, you just your pers your perspectives get broadened.

Edward Crowe 07:33 Absolutely. And I mean, I find a lot of solutions. I joke around and say sometimes I come out of the forest with more solutions than I have questions, you know, more answers than I have questions. but yeah, man, I I definitely it changes my perspective and allows me to evolve. I feel like every time I step into that ceremony, it's another notch in my evolution. You know what I mean? And I have understandings about myself. You know, I'll tell you something that just happened this last time. We're sure you heard about the meteor shower. You know, probably checked it out. The meteor shower, all the planet alignments last week. It was beautiful. But I took a pretty heavy dose with a friend of mine. You know, the idea of the hero's journey coming back to yourself, right? Like coming back to where you started and finding yourself again. And it was interesting because I went to grab some sheets, like clean sheets to put on the air mattresses down in the space. And I grabbed them and what I didn't realize at the time was there was a sheet from when I was about three or four that was in my mother's stuff. She had passed away almost three years ago, but it was in her stuff. And I took this down there. And when it was getting a little chilly in the, you know, as it was approaching morning, I wrapped myself in a sheet and I went and sat by the fire. My friend was on the other side. He couldn't really understand English at this point. You know, he was he was really out there in a good place, but he was out there. So I'm sitting in front of the fire minding my business. And it came to me that this Superman blanket. I have this analogy where I say like, you know, in a world where maybe you're you're very talented in one regard, you get a job, and then they have you doing grunt work or cleaning up messes and they're not focusing on your superpower. So I say that's I like to call that like you've got Superman shoveling cement, right? So when I'm sitting in front of this fire and I wrap myself in this blanket and I look down and I see Superman all over the blanket, and keep in mind it's 1978 DC Comics Superman sheet, right? It was like my blanket with other three.

Jason Najum 09:21 Yeah. I might have had that one. Yeah. Yeah.

Edward Crowe 09:23 I put the same one. I put that on and I was like, I gave myself and this is all metaphorical and this can apply to you and everybody else. You know what I mean? Like I believe we all have this superpower within us. And I put that on myself and I gave myself permission to be my own version of Superman again. You know what I mean? So it was like putting that cloth around me and acknowledging what was going on felt like, you know, some form of like remembering of who I am. You know what I mean?

Jason Najum 09:52 Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I I often I've described it that way. I mean, my my own personal journey is is has been kind of peeling away stuff that got in the way of myself, like, you know, some negative thinking, anxious thinking. And then I started to realize that the person that I was underneath was not having the chance to shine because all of you know. Whatever garbage had built up over the years, nothing too crazy, but just like some defaults and some thinkings and just some some habits of mind would get in the way and yeah, what we have inside sometimes gets covered up and and psychedelics can give us the chance to peel it back and and let it shine.

Edward Crowe 10:42 Absolutely. One hundred percent. That's what I call stepping outside of the hypnosis. That's something that came to me one time on a trip, is I believe like as we move through society and and our day to day situation and we're bombarded with things that want our attention, right? Everywhere we go, whether it's a song playing in Subway when we're getting a sandwich or it's a notification on our phone. You know what I mean? We're bombarded with these these things that want to take our attention. And these psychedelics, in my opinion

Jason Najum 10:44 Yeah, so

Edward Crowe 11:11 kind of eat away at that callous, you know, whether that callus is around our psyche or spirit or whatever the case it may be that it's that it's it's containing. You know what I mean? And we shed that in these in these instances. And that's that's what's the most powerful for me is going back and shedding that hypnosis. Stepping outside of that hypnosis.

Jason Najum 11:28 Hmm. Yeah, yeah, definitely. So so yeah, let's let's like step back and let me ask you a question. What would

Edward Crowe 11:32 Who

Jason Najum 11:44 Like regrets from the person you were and to who you are today. Like you you say are there like you know, there's evolution, that's cool, but it's that's a bit that's a bit like high level. it like is there th like things that you've left behind, regrets you've left behind, like how do you think that you're a better man today than you were yesterday? Anything you anything you feel on that.

Edward Crowe 12:15 Yeah, I mean, I consider people's feelings more. You know, I think about every single person from, you know, the the production assistant to the CEO. You know what I mean? If I pass by the guy that's guarding the steps at a concert and you know, I I'm in the music business. If I'm running around and and I run by the guy who's just there to make sure you got your VIP bracelet on and he's, you know Lowest guy on the totem pole, I make it a point to shake his hand, look him in his eye, introduce yourself, tell him thank you for doing what he's doing. You know, I've just become more considerate of all beings, all people, animals, you know, nature. I mean, it's just opened me up. It's like, it's like it's allowed this light to shine, you know what I mean, and become more conscious of what all this is around me and to question more. You know what I mean? Like, I don't think there's anything wrong with questioning everything, you know.

Jason Najum 13:10 Yeah. So I mean, if it's shining now out of you, it was probably in you to begin with. And it wasn't shining the way it should have or could have because of, you know, life and circumstance and all that stuff. So yeah, so it's kind of giving you a chance to like, you know, be who you be who you really are. And yeah, they say, you know, mushrooms are a heart opener. So it's, you know, allowing the real you to shine. have you I mean you're in the music biz, you come from certain circles. Have you found it a weird integration to come back, you know, with your psychedelic hippie blessings from everyone? Or has it been a cool integration? Like, you know, how how have you s like blended those two worlds together?

Edward Crowe 14:02 Man, it's it's actually been really incredible and I get a lot of support from the people I work with, you know, and and not a lot of people come to my world in that regard, you know what I mean? But in the business, for instance, I manage Yelawolf. I've been working with him for a long time, and he is probably the most supportive. Like if he finds out that you know, one of our employees or or somebody from the the crew or the band or is coming out here to to sit with me and and do a ceremony. Man, he'll tell you know, you got the day off. Go out there, handle that. You know what I mean? So I'm very thankful to have a lot of really serious support. People around me take this very seriously. They understand what it means to me. And and I have a lot of support. So that's you know, that goes a long way.

Jason Najum 14:48 Yeah. Yeah, that's awesome. And it's great to have that. So I get yeah, I mean, here you are, you're you're you're a man, you're out in the world, you're in you're in the biz, you're in the music biz. And the conversations about needing to do this for yourself, it you know, there's there's a there's a c coloring about mental health, there's like, you know, there's is there's this personal and spiritual growth conversation there and the fact that it's accepted, get you know. It's things are changing. It's not like yeah, you I mean you're seeing you're seeing that change.

Edward Crowe 15:26 Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. I mean, you know, it's it's more difficult in Nashville, Tennessee. We live, you know, they call it the Bible Belt, but it takes things a little longer to become, you know, legal here or accepted here. You know what I mean? Right now, we're throwing an event in November to bring a lot of really, really high level people in the business here to kind of educate the city. And we're saying it's an evening of curiosity, creativity, and psychedelic education. And So I I'm making it a point by producing this event, the Phoenix Rising Psychedelic Speakeasy, to bring more education to Nashville, Tennessee. Because, you know, all you really hear about, and there's nothing wrong with this, but I just think there's high further education needed. You know what I mean? You hear about everybody has chocolates, everybody microdoses, you know what I mean? All the basics, all the buzzwords. It's all that's what you hear thrown around here. But it's important to me personally. To educate people, you know what mean? Because I don't really want to have those conversations and and entertain that idea until we give people an opportunity to hear a group of experts explain their perspectives from different compounds and different ceremonies and experiences. You know, then we can move past the lack of education in the city. But yeah, and that's the city, there's a lot of curiosity, just a lot of misunderstanding, I would say.

Jason Najum 16:43 Yeah.

Jason Najum 16:49 Mm-hmm. Yeah, no, it's happening. It's happening. And there's there's a great kind of blending of, I mean, yeah, down south's a little bit more is more conservative, but thankfully, you know, due to how things have evolved in this in this renaissance, we have like, you know, soldiers with PTSD, the military veterans, like the support is coming around in in a in a w in like a nice holistic way where yeah, psychedelics are being it's it's tough. for people to default and push them away like like they used to. And yeah. So it's yeah, it's cool. It's like it's one of the only things that's bringing people together. You know, you'll have like, you know, a super left wing politician and then a congressman from Texas standing out front about a psychedelics bill. I mean, completely unheard of. Literally the literally the only thing that they're you'll have like bipartisan support on is psychedelics now. And you would

Edward Crowe 17:37 Right.

Jason Najum 17:46 never think about that in the US politics. So the ch the Timothy Leary the dream is happening a few decades later.

Edward Crowe 17:53 It is. And and I think it's it feels like the right time for it to become a cultural conversation. You know what I mean? It's been it's been very clinical for a long time and I respect it and I'm thankful and I and I love that approach and I'm interested in it. And I think it's fascinating. But I think it's it's exciting that it's moving into culture, you know, and and the regular average person can see how the regular average person makes use of this in a safe way. You see what I'm saying? 'Cause

Jason Najum 18:20 Mm-hmm.

Edward Crowe 18:21 You know, I I would consider myself a regular average person using this medicine in ceremony in a way that's not too complicated to understand. You know what mean? It's not too clinical to understand. It's more of a cultural thing. And I'm using it in a cultural way. And I'll do these ceremonies and then I go on tour with the artists I work with. And I do what I can to motivate the whole crew and bring everybody together as a team and try to like be. positively contagious with what it is I picked up in the ceremony and you know kind of spread that like we joke around like it's you know mushroom spread spores. Right. So I'm trying to give the message to to my friends who have audiences so they can then in turn give that positive message to their audience. And guess what happens then? We spread the ripple of positivity. And that's what I think we're here for in the first place.

Jason Najum 19:11 Preaching. Preaching the good word of psilocybin. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. no, that's great, man. And yeah, you're doing I mean you're doing your part. The it you're you're you're humbly doing you know, you would say you're doing the Lord's work, but it's I mean it's it's it's similar to the language, you know, I did notice that a little bit. you know, I won't say religious language, but humility, gratitude.

Edward Crowe 19:15 Let's go. Let's go.

Jason Najum 19:41 spreading the word, helping others. you know, are psychedelic is psychedelics bringing back their true roots of Christianity? And that's an that's an interesting essay to to write. But yeah, you know, a lot of the language, sorry. Yeah, just say that a lot of the language that you we we hear that's coming from your lips, you know, could be, you know, is is is some of the language we used to hear.

Edward Crowe 19:53 That is.

Edward Crowe 19:57 I think it's important. Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.

Edward Crowe 20:10 That's really interesting. You have a point. Yeah. And I mean it just man, it just inspires me at the highest level to be thankful and be curious. You know what I mean? And like, you know, look at things a little more analytical and not speed past everything. You know what I mean? Like, I mean, I walk around in the woods and I'll I'll analyze a leaf a lot longer than I used to. You know what I mean? Why? I don't know. Just because it's interesting. You know, it inspires creativity. You know what I mean? It makes me feel like a kid again. You know what I mean? And for that, I I couldn't be more thankful. That's one of my favorite things about the psilocybin journey is how it brings that inner child out. You know what I mean? And I'll tell you something interesting while we say, you know, the human journey, something that happened to me that kind of solidified this path for me. You know, of course, I would say that most people would feel like maybe you question yourself along the way, like

Jason Najum 20:33 Mm-hmm.

Jason Najum 20:44 Mm-hmm.

Edward Crowe 21:02 Is this right? Is this gonna make me crazy? Am I on the right path? You know, this stuff is some pretty serious stuff, as we know. You know what I mean? It takes you to some places that might make you ask those questions. But as far as the human journey, when my mother was on her deathbed and I was taking care of her, it was a hospice situation. Had to give her her medicine and I stayed up and, you know, wasn't gonna go to sleep. Cause I know how that works. If I went to sleep, that's when she would pass. So I stayed up with her. And for days and days and days, they couldn't get her to eat. as she was getting sicker and sicker. They couldn't get her to eat. They were trying to give her Ensure and stuff. Man, one day, like two days before she passed, I gave her that. I gave her, I gave, I'm sorry, I gave her psilocybin. She would take microdoses. I would give her what she would take as a microdose, some turkey tail and some vitamin D and just a little bit of water. And you know, I felt like it was the right thing to do. She did it every day on her own, right? But that day I decided to do it, I took it, I put it up to her to her mouth, and I tipped her head back. And for the first time in like a week, she actually drank what was in the cup. And she pointed at the cup. And my mother's last words on this earth were, That's good. That's literally the last thing she said. She pointed at the cup and said, That's good. And I carried that with me, you know? And and it's it was all I needed to know. You know what I mean? That this stuff is good. She told me that's her last words.

Jason Najum 22:20 That's beautiful. Yeah.

Jason Najum 22:26 Oof. Thanks for that, man. Thank you. yeah, I have to say that resonates cause I had exactly the same story and p walked sat with my mother through the final moments and wasn't able to have those final connections with her because she was going through the regular hospital system and she was just completely drugged out.

Edward Crowe 22:28 Heaven of the room.

Jason Najum 22:55 And morphined out, and there was no human connection in the final moments. And n that was years ago. And now that I work in this space, I know the possibilities of psilocybin and end of life care. And the the possibilities we missed out on on having a different end of life situation with her. And I did I did I was doing some similar things with her too. I slipped her a little something something in the in the hospital room. Also when no one was looking in the final moments. so yeah, I feel you on that. Thanks for sharing.

Edward Crowe 23:32 Absolutely. And thank you for sharing. I'm sorry to hear about your loss, brother.

Jason Najum 23:35 Yeah, same. I mean, that's part of the it's part of the path. Yeah. So you were mentioning, you know, you you walk, you notice the wonder, the paid attention to details. And how does that I mean it if positively affect your relationships? I don't know, like when you when you go back home, are you are you having better relationships with your friends, with your romantic partners? Are you

Edward Crowe 23:38 Powercycle, yeah. No.

Jason Najum 24:04 You're are you less self centered, you're more like s looking at the person you're with instead of seeing them through your filter, through our filters. You know, are you are you but yeah.

Edward Crowe 24:15 Absolutely. I try to I try to see the situation nowadays. I try to see the situation from outside of myself. Step outside of myself and look at the situation as, you know, something I say in my secular message that I do before the journey is through the eyes of a wise stranger. You know, so I look at myself through the eyes of a wise stranger, you know, to to try to understand from outside of my own perspective, you know, or you could say ego. I prefer perspective, you know what I mean? Because I can change my perspective and I can leave my ego at the door if I choose to. You know what I mean? And it's important in the world that we live in to pick it back up and bring it out with you when you go back into society. You know what I mean? There's a place for the ego and there's a place to leave it behind. I feel like as long as you keep it in check. That's my my personal opinion.

Jason Najum 25:06 Mm. Yeah, no, exactly. Yeah. And so you you feel your your personal relationships have improved. Like, you know, we everyone could be hard headed. Like, do you manage conflict better? Like your commun community. Yeah.

Edward Crowe 25:20 Man. That's a great point. Yeah, like conflict. I mean, that's you know, you can you can imagine on the road, I mean, of course, there's always some kind of conflict or some kind of whether it's a promoter or someone who's at the merch table or you know, different there's always some kind of conflict, or you show up in a new venue and there's it's a new person and a new day and this guy's had a rough morning and it's kind of setting the tone for the whole thing and you know, just pulling people aside or or greeting them with a smile up front. on purpose, you know what I mean, or figuring out how to shape shift that energy because we have the ability and the power to do so. Now not saying everyone's gonna respond how you'd like, but there was a time when I would be like, man damn, I try to be not you know, try to justify it and that type of thing. And I got to the point where instead of justifying it or being offended by it, man, I would just try to say, you know, a little more little more blessings in their direction. You know what I mean? Try to give them a little more of what that smile a little higher. You know what I mean? Like I don't need to act like like they owe me something because they didn't smile back. Maybe their day's really bad. You know what I mean? But it's important to me to treat people in that way and inspire happiness. You know what I mean? Inspire good energy, you know, and make sure that we're kind, man. Kind is easy. You know what I mean? We just have to remember to be that way.

Jason Najum 26:24 Mm.

Jason Najum 26:39 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Like was this part of your personality back in the day? Or were you like, you know?

Edward Crowe 26:50 To the point of the hero's journey, yes, as a child, man, I I was who I am today till I was probably 11 or 12. And then I fell into, you know, trying to be somebody, trying to become something. You know what I mean? And and it's important. I mean, that's again, that's part of the journey. I'm glad I did that. I'm glad that I walked through the guy that didn't smile. Because if I didn't, I probably wouldn't appreciate that I do now, you know? So I think everybody's journey.

Jason Najum 27:17 Mm-hmm.

Edward Crowe 27:19 you know, make sense and I wouldn't be who I am. You wouldn't be who you are if you didn't walk the path that you walked to get here today. You know, and finding out how to move it around and switch it around, the things that I've dealt with make me capable of giving the message that I'm able to give. You know?

Jason Najum 27:35 Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, so there's no like regrets, how do you feel about regret?

Edward Crowe 27:44 Man, I don't honestly like I don't have any regrets. I don't I'm I'm actually trying to think if I have any regrets. I mean, would is there things I would do differently with the knowledge I have now, just in life as as a as a human being? Let's step outside of psilocybin and all those other things. Just as a human being that has been allowed to grow, age, and learn. I don't regret I've just learned how to. act accordingly moving forward. You know what I mean? I I truly don't believe I have any regrets. I think that everything I've done up until this point was important to be coming who I am.

Jason Najum 28:22 Yeah. Yeah, it's like a weird kind of paradox where like I I kinda wish I didn't do those things because I may have hurt people and acted like a selfish ass. But then without those without that regret is kind of weird. Like I wrote an essay once that I'm full of regret in in in in that I am a fuller person because I do feel bad for that person I loved and harmed. And so would I you know, I wouldn't learn, you know, if I was just some person who didn't give a shit about what they do to other people, I'd maybe stay on that path. but but because I did regret hurting that person, I learned from it. And so it's kind of this catch twenty two where yeah, no, I don't I mean, I wish I didn't do it, but then if I didn't do it, I wouldn't be this you know, this better person today. So

Edward Crowe 29:18 Right. And to your point, I mean, of course, you know, times when, you know, I used to drink a lot. And that's the thing that mushrooms really helped me with. I didn't necessarily go in with the intention to stop, I don't believe. I think I was trying to fix the problems I was having and too naive to understand that maybe I should lay back on that a little bit. You know what I mean? And being in the music business, I mean, man, it's free all the time. And, you know, people want to pour fifty shots and So I had to step away from it just to survive. You know what I mean? And I don't knock anyone who who decides to to do that or whatever they want to do. And I'm not a I'm not a sober person. I'll have a glass of champagne or a glass of wine if if there's a celebration to be had. But the point being, I don't drink for the hell of it. You know what I mean? And and my life has changed drastically. You know, and the mushrooms become my mentor. If it wasn't for the mushroom, I would either be dead or in jail, and that's for sure. You know what I mean? It's perspective to that to that extent.

Jason Najum 30:12 Mm-hmm.

Jason Najum 30:16 Yeah, things were things were a bit serious back then.

Edward Crowe 30:19 Very serious. Yeah. I mean, I was I was in the street and I was, you know, kind of hopeless and and no direction. You know, I had a couple of good mentors that kept me kept me in the right direction when I was being too foolish. But I definitely was moving in the wrong direction, moving around the wrong people. I probably became the wrong crowd. You know what I mean? Myself. I probably wasn't a positive influence at a certain time. But things changed, you know, and and when you accept becoming a student forever.

Jason Najum 30:39 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Edward Crowe 30:49 You know what I mean? Then evolution comes along with that.

Jason Najum 30:54 Hmm. And mushrooms a bag of mushrooms came into your life, a big bag, and you th the universe said, nah, you're gonna sit with this and Yeah.

Edward Crowe 31:05 Yeah, it was yeah. It it was crazy because it was like, you know, I like I said, I bought it just to sell it. I mean the gu the weed man had no more weed and I didn't even really I mean, of course I've heard of but I didn't know what it was, what it did, the history, nothing about it at all. My only intention was to buy it, to make money, and then if I took was to get stoned. And I'm just being completely transparent. And because people don't come back, you know, for mushrooms like that, and it wasn't what I thought it was. it kind of forced me to eat on the weekends. You know what I mean? When when there was nobody buying and I had there and nothing else to do. And then we would just eat larger amounts because I had like a pound and a half that were just sitting there. So me and a buddy split a ounce one night and and I saw this Indian goddess after purging and then You know, it had all these arms and it was dancing and and I walked towards it. And when I walked toward it was like a portal that I'm describing it. It wasn't a portal, I'm not saying that, but it looked like a portal that opened up in reality. And it was translucent. You could see through it. And it was this Indian goddess that we've all seen images of. And it was dancing. You know, and it let me know if you come here, you die there. When I felt the fear, it completely vanished. And that was the catalyst, the moment when I realized there's something more to this. You know, it we all have a bunch of stories along the way, you know, but it's that was definitely the catalyst that made me realize there's something more to this.

Jason Najum 32:30 Mm. So that was the beginning of the journey. Mm. And and then you started to see its potential, its evolution within you, and and now you're you're passing it along to others.

Edward Crowe 32:33 Mm-hmm. That was the first time, you know.

Edward Crowe 32:44 That's right. And it's you know, the ceremony itself, the being able to drive the intentions and understanding how to protect the ceremony and how to respect the ceremony. You know, these things in my experience have come in degrees. It didn't all happen at once. You know what I mean? The ceremony that I have today, I mean, it's taken twenty six years to land on that ceremony. You know what I mean? And I don't do these inside at all. It's always outside. two nights ago I'd done a ceremony and it was in a thunderstorm. And man, it was beautiful. I had it covered with a tarp. You know, I was outside, I had I was covered with the tarp. But it was, it was incredible. You know what I mean? So yeah, I do that to to make sure I can come back to myself.

Jason Najum 33:25 Mm-hmm. Yeah, your your experiences are ceremonial, your own your own version of a s of a of ceremony. You've put you you've made your you've made your own that feels right.

Edward Crowe 33:38 Absolutely. And I mean, you know, I've traveled all over the world and and had the opportunity and I'm very thankful to have got the ability to experience different cultures as I know you have as well. And you know, there's just something to it, like picking up little pieces of the magic along the way, you know what I mean? Like whether it's from Egypt or Thailand or these different places, visiting these temples and these pyramids and you know, picking up little things that you like from each of these cultures, borrowing and respecting and giving back. You know, not not hoarding and taking, you know what I mean, but wanting to give back as well. And and I think it's important, man. And when you're operating off intuition, you know, and and from the heart, you know what I mean? I I don't do like retreats or anything like that. I don't I don't think there's anything wrong with it. And I don't know that I'll never be a part of one. Maybe I will. But the point is, right this moment for me, it's a very intimate Experience. You know, I I like to be one-on-one with people. I don't know why. That's just my approach and it and it feels right. So that's how I do it.

Jason Najum 34:45 So out in nature, intimate, you've crafted your own kinda boutique experience for yourself and your people.

Edward Crowe 34:55 Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely.

Jason Najum 34:57 That's great, man. Yeah. That's great. I mean, I r I really appreciate you you you sharing your story. And yeah, I mean, is there is there anything else you you'd like to share? I mean, the part of this conversation is, you know, giving people permission who may not who may not be you know, they may be psychedelic. And, you know, so, you know, we've you know, we'll we'll speak to someone who's suffering from a a certain mental health condition and you know, we're trying to open the doors and let people in. but I mean, your story is kinda like you said, you know, you're just like an everyday guy who is doing your thing and you discovered that there could be a better version of yourself with this.

Edward Crowe 35:41 Absolutely. And I I mean, you know, for me, if I was gonna give advice to anyone who was, you know, was seeking to benefit from this from this mushroom or, you know, medicine, I would just say be very cautious, careful, come with respect and intention. Consider safety. You know what I mean? I do things like I lock a gate to the land, I lock up all the phones. No weapons allowed. You know, even sharp objects are locked in the trunk of a car and those keys are put in a lockbox. Just because when you go to that level, I can't predict what's gonna happen. You know what I mean? So I make sure that everything is completely as contained as possible. You know, and then we go down into a space in the forest where you really can't find your way out until you're mentally fit to do so. You know what I mean? So I purposely guard all things that could become harmful. That's my most important thing is is the preparation, making sure you're safe. Of course, if you're inexperienced, you need someone to sit for you. You know what I mean? To make sure you're safe.

Jason Najum 36:44 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, you're definitely you're you're taking care of the set and setting. And yeah. yeah, I think I think this this conversation's important because, you know, we're often, you know, I've interviewed someone who was like a an addict for 20 years and you know, psychedelics saved his life and a and a and a war veteran. but like speaking with Dennis, you know, it doesn't always have to be this traumatic. Headline grabbing, life-saving event. And psychedelics do have that potential and they do save people's lives who are in extreme conditions. But for some people, and maybe for many people, it can just be a way to in improve your life, to make yourself a bit lighter, to you know, get you back on the path to to the bet a better version of you, you know, that you don't necessarily have to be suffering from some. extreme condition that you know, you're at your last straw. It could just be a tool to make things better.

Edward Crowe 37:49 I loved that you said that because to me that's extremely important. I always said it came to me in a trip, but it's like sharpening your superpower. You know what I mean? And that's to your point. You can be okay. You can be completely fine and and step into that space and sharpen your superpower, strengthen your imagination. You know? That's important to me, is strengthening my imagination.

Jason Najum 38:09 Yeah. Yeah. Just I mean, no matter where you are in your path, even if even if things are great, you could always be reminded, Hey, you know, I could be a bit kinder. I could, you know, we could name a hundred things that we could get better at and no matter even if things even if things are great.

Edward Crowe 38:24 Right, or right, exactly. And and or, you know, hey, you're doing great. Here's a perspective to take that greatness and put gasoline on that. You know what I mean? Like it's it's not even it you know, you're not doing good. Maybe you're doing great, but here's how we take that greatness to the next level. You know? Sharp.

Jason Najum 38:35 Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Jason Najum 38:42 Mm-hmm. Yeah. Psychedelic catalyzations, catalyst be the uh-huh. I mean that's that's a nice way to end it, man. This is this is this is good. I like I like this I like this perspective because we we want to give permission for whoever to say th this is available to you and it it can put a smile on your face and then it could it could it could help you and the people around you.

Edward Crowe 39:11 Absolutely. Absolutely. No, I really enjoyed talking to you, brother. That was a that was a good conversation.

Jason Najum 39:16 Yeah, I appreciate it. And like we'll we'll link to all the work you're doing and we'll share we'll share what you what what you're up to and I really appreciate it, Edward. It's been great.

Edward Crowe 39:27 Hey, thank you so much, Jason. And yeah, man, let's stay in touch. It was really good to connect with you.

Jason Najum 39:32 Yes. Yes. All right. I just hit

Edward Crowe 39:35 My brother.