Moving Past Trauma: A Military Spouse Is Helping Veterans Heal
Elaine Brewer didn’t think she’d end up as a psychedelic integration coach, mental health advocate, or voice for healing in veteran communities. Like many who find their way into these spaces, her journey was a road of evolution, enlightenment, and necessity.
“I got into this work trying to find different modalities to get me through my own struggles,” she says. “I was battling with my own mental health, and I had to find something — anything — that would help.”
Her husband had served in the US military for two decades, in the Navy’s Special Operations. That meant years of deployments, loss, instability, and what she calls “a thousand cuts” — the slow, quiet damage of a life under constant pressure.
“Our trauma didn’t come from a single moment,” she explains. “It came from years in the military, years surrounded by death, divorces, and uncertainty.”
Like many seekers, she started with more accessible tools: yoga, meditation, mindfulness. They brought some relief, but they were just “scratching the surface.” The true breakthrough came during an ayahuasca ceremony in Peru, a transformative experience that would later become a defining moment in both her healing journey and professional path.
“I was struggling with suicidal ideation at the time,” echoing the crisis faced by many veterans and their loved ones. “During the ceremony, I found myself at my own funeral. I saw my husband’s and children’s faces, devastated. It was crushing. That night, I shook, I cried, I vomited, I felt everything at once. Some might call it a ‘bad trip.’ But it turned out to be the greatest gift of my life.”
Elaine walked away from that night without suicidal ideation and that healing remained for years. “That is the power of plant medicine,” she says. “What kind of traditional therapy could have shown me something so visceral and life-altering?”
A Military Life, A Community in Pain
Elaine’s commitment to the veteran community is personal. She’d witnessed the immense and often hidden burden faced by veterans and their families. And she’d experienced, first-hand, the healing potential of plant medicine.
“When he retired, we made a vow: to heal ourselves, and to help heal our community.”
That mission led her to VETS — Veterans Exploring Treatment Solutions — and later to Heroic Hearts Project, where she now works as a coach and contractor. “I had done so much therapy, meditation, mindfulness,” she says. “But my first psychedelic experience allowed me to unlayer so much in just one session. That’s when I knew this could be transformative for veterans.”
Many of the veterans Elaine works with arrive at psychedelics as a last resort. “It’s their Hail Mary,” she says. “It’s not the first modality they run to. They’ve done everything — therapy, medication, programs — and it hasn’t worked.”
Self-preservation is one of the fiercest forms of love. If we can bring compassion to those parts, we can start to heal.
Spending time in this space, and speaking to trauma survivors, this is something you hear all too often. These therapies aren’t just helpful, they’re the last resort. The thing they try when they’ve exhausted everything else.
Elaine came to see that psychedelics offered something radically different. “You’ve heard the expression that a psychedelic retreat is like 10 years of therapy in a couple days,” she says. “It rings true. It hits nervous system regulation, deep-seated trauma, core wounding, everything.”
“It’s often their last hope.”
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Unlayering Trauma
Veterans face a unique, and complex, healing journey. Military training instills discipline and thinking of the greater good — it but also teaches suppression of personal needs. Emotions can become liabilities.
Elaine agrees. “They’re not strangers to discomfort. But psychedelic healing brings emotional discomfort. Vulnerability. And that’s terrifying for many veterans.”
She explains how military conditioning shifts the nervous system. “Veterans are wired for protection over connection. Their baseline becomes sympathetic dominant: fight or flight. When they come home, they’re often in a disassociated state. You’ll hear spouses say, ‘They’re here, but not really here.’”
Re-learning connections takes time. “We’re trying to help them feel, to let themselves rest without guilt. Peace without feeling disoriented. But it’s hard. That state of calm actually feels unfamiliar.”
Switching from Fear to Feeling
Healing involves rewiring the brain — literally. “When you operate from your amygdala all the time, you’re stuck in fear and anger,” she explains. “But love, empathy, compassion, that’s from the prefrontal cortex. We’re trying to help them move between these states without falling into dissociation.”
That’s where psychedelics can be transformative. “They bypass your defenses. Suddenly, the emotions come flooding out: tears, memories, everything. And on the other side, it’s cathartic. They have a new data point: ‘That was hard, but I survived. And I feel better.’”
So we’re helping people redefine what ‘hard work’ really is. Not just physical or tactical, but emotional?
Elaine smiles. “Exactly. Emotional work is some of the hardest work they’ll ever do. But it leads to real growth.”
Brewer doesn’t facilitate ceremonies, instead she focuses on preparing people for the therapy and helping them integrate afterward.
“Psychedelics can feel like a dream state. Messages aren’t always literal,” she says. “So post-retreat, we work through the symbolism, the themes. What did it mean? How do you apply it to your life?”
Life is uncomfortable. We shouldn’t run from that. We should move through it. That’s where the healing is.
Her approach blends Internal Family Systems (IFS), somatic awareness, and metacognition. “We talk about ‘No Bad Parts’, how things like disassociation or hypervigilance are actually brilliant survival strategies,” she explains. “Addiction, people-pleasing, perfectionism, they’re all ways we’ve tried to stay safe.”
She adds: “Self-preservation is one of the fiercest forms of love. If we can bring compassion to those parts, we can start to heal.”
A core part of her work involves reframing discomfort. “I tell my clients: discomfort is a bodyguard. It’s guarding something important. So get curious. Where do you feel it in your body? What’s under the anxiety?”
She believes in the power of curiosity over avoidance. “Ask yourself: Is this thought coming from a place of healing or from an old wound? What’s underneath anger or fear?”
So much of our personal struggles come from the fear of the unknown. The fear of dealing with the past; the fear of what might happen if we “go there “. But true healing requires stepping into the hesitation.
Elaine agrees. “Exactly. The suffering we know feels safer than the healing we don’t. But there’s beauty on the other side of discomfort — if we’re willing to go through it.”
Veterans Leading the Way
“The veteran community is helping shift the narrative. Three years ago in Missouri, we brought a psychedelic bill to the state capitol and it wasn’t well received. Now it’s passed unanimously through the House.”
The stigma is slowly lifting, but resistance remains. “Legislators are still stuck in old paradigms,” she says. “They worry about addiction and harm — but they’re not looking at the science. Meanwhile, we’re handing out SSRIs and alcohol like candy, and no one’s blinking.”
She’s also seen bipartisan support growing. “It’s heartening to see people like Rick Perry, a former Republican governor, championing access. But there’s still a long way to go.”
One of her biggest concerns is the red tape and lack of access. “It’s pushing people into the underground. And while there are safe, ethical spaces out there, there are also people who have no idea what they’re doing. Desperate people are vulnerable to exploitation.”
People are scared of discomfort. But the truth is they’re already uncomfortable. That’s why they’re here. That’s why they’re seeking healing.
“There are amazing underground practitioners out there, but there are also people with no experience, no ethics, and huge egos,” she warns. “People are desperate. If we don’t provide legal, safe, regulated access, we’re leaving them vulnerable.”
An argument from advocates of psychedelic legalization is that it would increase safety, not reduce it. Infrastructure, certification, oversight — those only come with legal access.
Elaine agrees. “This is happening either way. The question is: are we going to do it safely, or are we going to keep forcing people into the shadows?”
Despite the obstacles, she remains hopeful.
“The landscape is changing. Veterans are helping to lead that shift. And with every person who heals, we’re changing the narrative.”
The conversation ends. And we return to the idea that healing isn’t about escaping discomfort. It’s about embracing it.
“People are scared of discomfort,” she says. “But the truth is they’re already uncomfortable. That’s why they’re here. That’s why they’re seeking healing. So let’s lean into it. Let’s see what’s on the other side.”
“Life is uncomfortable,” she says. “We shouldn’t run from that. We should move through it. That’s where the healing is.”
Read More:
The Courage to Heal: A Conversation With Tom Feegel of Beond Ibogaine Treatment Center
A New Hope for Treating PTSD Flashbacks — For Those Living with Trauma
